Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Keliru....


 

Di tepian simpang ini
Sejenak aku terhenti
Terbayanglah bagaimana
Pengembaraanku bermula
Ku tinggalkan segala yang
Ku sayang dan ku cinta
Hanya untuk mencari
Satu identiti diri yang murni
Setelah terjerat dalam
Dilema aku mengerti
Bagaimana sukarnya
Mengenal diri sendiri
Hanyutlah aku dalam arus
Hidup yang tak menentu
Maka timbul kesedaran
Yang aku selama ini keliru
Ku pandukan cahayamu
Darimu Ilahi
Aku bersujud memohon doa
Memohon rahmat memohon restumu
Kau senangkanlah
Mudahkanlah perjalanan hidupku
Selama ini aku terpedaya
Dan keliru keliru keliru keliru
Setelah terjerat dalam
Dilema aku mengerti
Bagaimana sukarnya
Mengenal diri sendiri
Hanyutlah aku dalam arus
Hidup yang tak menentu
Maka timbul kesedaran
Yang aku selama ini keliru
Keliru
Keliru keliru keliru







Saat itu


Saat itu....

Bila hati terguris

Sakitnya bak teriris

Tiada yang bisa membantu

Kecuali Allah yang SATU

Debaran jantung bagai dipalu

Fikiran kusut terasa buntu



Tiada yang lebih memahami

Kecuali IILLAHI....

Walau terasa amat disakiti

Walau sendu hati menangisi

Walau tercalar perasaan ini.....

Sujudlah.....

Mohonlah.....

Doalah......

Yakinlah.... 

rintihan itu pasti diDENGARI

Saat itu......

Allah menghampirimu

Memandangmu

Mendengarmu

Tangisanmu bak seorang bayi

Ingin dipeluki

Ingin disentuhi

Ingin didengari

Allah ada.....Allah ada....

KehadiranNYA dirasai

Kau tidak sendiri.....

Kau tidak ditinggalkan sendiri.....

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Mother is supreme

 


Prophet Muhammad s.a.w said that we should put our mother first in first and then only the father. That is what happens in reality. 

A mother will not let go of our hands when we are young. May it be in walking, crossing the road, and in whatever situation, she will always lead the children, hand in hand! She will never let go.


When I was in college, I learned the phrase, Mother is Supreme. I did not actually understand them until I became a mother! So much truth. Oh, dear.....


To a mother, her children never grow up. That is why mother barely listens to their children's points of view but take and believe in others even though it is the same point of view. In her eyes, her children are too young even though her children are married and have children of their own. No worries, that is normal. It's global......throughout the world.!! Of course, some mothers do listen to their children but they only pick the ones that they want to hear... heh heh heh.


But remember this....when you are down and in trouble, the first person you need most is your mother. Mothers will sit and listen to your problems. She hugs you, listens to you, and touches you in silence. She will let you talk and her silence gives you that certain kind of calmness. 


Mothers will work hard to help you in almost everything. She will do her level best to make sure her children survive and doing well in life. She will protect and even fight for her children. She will even ready to humiliate herself for the sake of her children. She never cares about herself because her children come first! She will not let go because she is a MOTHER!!!.


You are lucky if your mother is still around. Do not hurt her, love her with all of your heart.  Take care of her and give her happiness and comfort. She will be happy if her children are but she will be the saddest person if you are sad. but remember that, you can never repay her for all that she has done for you!!! NEVER!!!!


Mothers only want to see you and watch you grow. She just wants your time..... is it so hard to pick up the phone and call her as much as you can! Get a smartphone so she can see you in the screen. Believe it or not, she misses her children every single second of the day. 


So, go and visit your mother, hug her because once she is gone, there is no other love that can replace her. 


I am a mother and I miss my children......A mother's job is never done until the day she closes her eyes, just remember this.....

Just a simple thought!!


Looking at the youngsters enjoying themselves with friends and families reminds me of my salad days. Well, those were the days when I was young, very much green in judgment, energetic, and full of dreams and wants but not needs!  Needs came much later! Well, most of what I wanted so much was fulfilled. Alhamdulillah.


But life is like a wheel. It will roll around. Sometimes you are up high and looking downwards and sometimes you are down and looking upwards.  Just enjoy the view as the wheel turns.  It doesn't matter where you are, just take one step at a time. Then you will be OK. 

For as long as we live, we have to complete the tusks and go through many tests from Allah. May it be minor tests or major tests. Allah wants us to hang on to Him, talk to Him, and cry to Him... Only Him! Allah listens and He knows what is best for us even though we thought it was not! That is what we are here for.... to be tested! So, just go along, do what you have to do, avoid making stupid mistakes,  make more friends and most of all keep your family together in whatever circumstances... you must stick together.  Hold tight and do not let go. Be responsible towards one another!


I am still looking outside my window and smiling to myself remembering my salad days! 

Thank you Allah for everything!


Allah is the Best Planner!


What I see





I am waiting for my love in the hotel lobby. Such a big and spacious lobby it is.  


I saw many people walking up and down carrying pieces of stuff. Well, the young ones with their toy, mums with handbags and small items of luggage, and many more. Almost all of them dressed nicely and well pressed... of course, such a prestige resort.... only those with lots of money or under the expenses of their company can afford to stay here.  But why not! Spend some for you and your loved ones once in a blue moon. You deserve the break! One night is enough and if you are thinking of staying longer, check out and go get affordable hotels,. There are many boutique hotels nearby.... half the price!!! Hahahah. This is what I call ... be realistic!


It seems that my love is still stuck in the hall listening to talks.... I hope he stays awake or else he will be humiliating himself! But that man is an original. He does things his own way. That is what makes him great! Love of my eyes.


At last, he is here! Yeay!

Walked along an old collogue. They were together in 1992. Believe it or not, they were the people who opened up this place....Bertam! It used to be a rubber plantation! He did well. It makes me proud to have such a great man in my life. Alhamdulillah.


Off he goes again to listen to talks in the hall! Hope he survives! Hahahhaha. 


And......I am still waiting in the lobby! Looking at people and people looking at me!!!! Do I look good....yeah baby!!!




Tuesday, September 26, 2023

As you age....

When the time comes, then only we realize what it meant by growing old.  We cannot imagine it when we were young.  But in time you will discover the truth. 



There is nothing wrong to grow old. We should not look what we had left behind but always looking forward what to come. Forget about our stupidity and never repeat our mistakes. Just move on. The past is over and we cannot amend it anymore but we can create a better us in future!


Life is full of surprises! There are  happy days and sad days but  all we need to do is to capture the moments because  it will last 


in our memory box for a very long time. That is why the elders only remember  the old stories when they were much younger because of the captured moments.




When you age but still strong,  try as much as you can to visit your old friends.  Old friends only talk about days of the childhood, about the past, teasing one another of  the naive days and, mistakes and foolishness! Those stories  are the beautiful moments you shared together and that creates long lasting laughter that keeps you healthy and feeling young again! So in other words, you live longer when you meet up with old friends.... just do it!!!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Syukran Ya Allah

 Syukran Ya Allah



Hari ini, seusia ini, kau masih memberi aku peluang bernafas. Tahun yang lalu kau mencubit aku. Berbulan aku terlantar. Tapi, aku bersyukur kehadratMu kerana aku kembali segar! Saat terlantar, tiada lain yang kupinta.... hanya kepadaMu aku berserah.


Syukran Ya Allah..... peluang kehidupan ini aku berhasrat untuk memperbaiki segala kelemahanku, mempertingkatkan keimananku dan mensyukuri segala nikmatMu. Berilah aku kekuatan itu wahai Maha Penciptaku..... hanya kepadaMu aku meminta.


Syukran Ya Allah..... 

Dua insan yang kau amanahkan mengandungkan, melahirkan dan membesarkanku telah Kau panggil  pulang. Aku memohon kepadaMu Agar kau ampunilah segala dosa dan kesalahan kedua orang tuaku.  Kasihanilah mereka sebagaimana mereka mengasihiku semasa kecilku. Aku bermohon agar ditempatkan mereka di Syurga FirdausMu. Anugerahkanlah mereka kedudukan tertinggi dan pakaikanlah mereka Mahkota di kepala. Tidak terbalas budi mereka ... hanya Kau saja! Aku bermohon semoga Berlemah lembutlah

  dengan mereka kerana mereka Mak dan Abahku!


Syukran Ya Allah.....

Kau jodohkanku dengan dia. Itulah nikmat, itulah rezeki buatku dariMu.  Ya Allah, dia adalah imamku, guruku, sahabatku.... malah dia adalah penyejuk hatiku, perujuk kemusykilan dan penenang di waktu kusutku. Memandangnya sahaja, terlerai masalahku! Panjangkanlah jodoh kami hingga ke FirdausMu. Aku bermohon kepadaMu agar kau merahmati kehidupannya di dunia dan akhirat kerana dia insan teristimewaku Dulu, Kini dan Selamanya! Suamiku adalah hadiah paling istimewa  dariMu untukku. 


Syukran Ya Allah..... 

Kau kembangkan Zuriat keturunanku dari dua pasang anak menantu hingga tujuh orang cucu. Terima kasih kerana  memelihara kesihatan dan keselamatan mereka.  Aku memhon kepadaMu agar dipertingkatkan keimanan mereka dan jiwa yang sentiasa mengingatiMu dan menyebut-nyebut namaMu. YaAllah, kau terangkanlah hati mereka,  tajamkan penglihatan dan pendengaran  mereka, betulkan sebutan mereka agar mereka berjaya membaca dan menghafaz Al QuranMu kerana itulah kunci kejayaan mereka di dunia dan di akhirat.  Hanya kepadaMu aku memohon. 

Amiiiin.


Syukran Ya Allah....

Aku mempunyai saudara-mara, sahabat-handai, jiran tetangga teman-taulan dan ramai kenalan   yang amat menyayangiku dan menghurmatiku. Ampunilah mereka dan rahmatilah kehidupan mereka dan pertemukanlah serta kumpulkan kami bersama di SyurgaMu nanti.. 



Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Mengapa?

 Hari ini ia menyapa. 

Lama sungguh tidak berjumpa. 

Bila ditanya kemana rimba  kau  berjimba. 

Katanya ,”Biarlah rahsia…. “.

Selamat pulang Sang Suria. Kepulanganmu  amat dinantikan.

Tapi langit sudah kembali kelam…

Mengapa?

Katanya, “Izinkan aku berehat seketika. 

Nanti aku akan kembali jua buat sepenuh masa….”

Segeralah kau kembali….

Hadirmu amat diperlukan…

Whose fault?


I decided to have a short vacation.

It has been a long time since I last had one. 

I needed a short break. 

I put Rain in charge. 

He promised to be good.

But it seems he did not..

It upsets me of his doings. 

He hurts people and animals. 

Washed away everything that blocked his ways. 

I saw bodies and debris 

I heard cries 

I saw rage

I heard shouts here and there..

They were so upset, stressed, sad 

Lost their belongings

Lost their  loved ones

Some even lost their mind

But……Rain denied!

He said….

Water flows freely ….everywhere

Small or big hollows, drains and into the rivers….and to the sea 

So strong that I can move almost anything effortlessly…

But

There were buildings everywhere

Where can I go?

Humans changed the earth surface.

What used to be a clearance 

What used to be a passage….

Were no more there

Humans dumped rubbish everywhere…

Suffocated the river

They narrowed the river banks

They cut trees as they wished

The ground became soggy and gave way.

Water flows fast, nothing to slow it down..

I have to carry the logs, the rubbish and earth…..

The same goes for everything ….

What can I do?

Is it my fault?

NO!!

It is their fault!

They caused the flood

Well……

Now you are back…

Just do your job.

Time to dry the earth

We both have our own path

We both have our own jobs and missions

I have done mine

Allah has stated everything

The humans are at fault

They have brains…

But they refused the gift

They did the unthinkable

It was their own doings…

Not yours and not mine

It’s them…

Let this be a lesson to them

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

The Sacrifices.....

Abah passed away many years ago. The best part of ABah is always his smile and wittiness. He will always make us happy and was never angry. He accepted what is given and always feel thankful about it....

Abah depended so much on Mak. Mak was her strength. The strength that drive Abah forward was Mak. Both of them played important role in bringing us up.

When Abah passed away, Mak strength started to fade away. Even though she tried to hide her loneliness and missing Abah, it showed. Five years Mak suffered. She would send food and drinks to the Surau in the name of her beloved husband.

I know now what it feels like. When I was in bed, very sick because of the pandemic, my husband took care of me from head to toe. He did everything with a smile on his face even though Allah only know how worried he was towards m early bad progress. I saw his worried eyes and rating to Allah for my recovery. Even how much I tried to make him feel at ease, but I saw the pain in him. He was very sad and devastated. He will massage my back, recite Quran to my ears, pray jamaah with me and always make sure that I am in the most comfortable position to rest.  some days, when he saw I am awake, he will crack jokes just to put a smile on my face. I tell you, he tried very hard. That smile did not visit my face at all....I cried looking at how hard he tried but that is my husband. He never gives up...he kept on joking around. Sometimes I cried looking at his effort. He loves me unlimitedly. H really loves me unconditionally....MaSyaAllah.

That is what marriage is all about. All about sacrifice....somethings that has been our likings but was not a favourite of our partner, slowly we let it go. We tried our very best to complement each other. We did our own part and live with it and together, hand in hand. I make dua to Allah to keep us always in the best of health, wealth, happiness and love forever.

The last two nights before I was discharged, I had this beautiful dream. I dreamt  Abah lying in bed net to me and looking down at me with his beautiful smile....as if Abah is saying that I am going to be alright ad I will be healthy soon.  That was the strength I was looking for....to fight and to survive for my loved ones......Alhamdulillah.