Your mother or you?

          Every year, every single year of our lives, we celebrate the date we were born. Friends and families will send in beautiful notes, wishes, dua and quotes to us. this is something that we look forward to every year.

          When I was younger, I have never celebrated my birthday. No birthday cakes, no balloons, no finger foods, no friends celebrating but my Allahyarham Mak had a way to remind her of the day. She would cook a kind of porridge called the Bubur Merah Bubur Putih. What is it made of? She took a cup of rice grains or glutinous rice grains and washed it nicely. Then she would add in maybe 3 or 4 cups of water and cooked until it boiled. Let it simmer.

Gula Melaka, Coconut milk and Pandan leaves.

          Then my Mak will take out a quarter part of the porridge and put it in another pot.  For the big portion, Mak will add in a piece of Gula Melaka/Palm Sugar and a pinch of salt. When the sugar has diluted and you will see that the porridge turned into brownish colour. To add a bit of a flavour, Mak added in Pandan leaves which she would make it look like ribbons. Wow, the smell......!! Then Mak will put the fire off and set the porridge aside. For the quarter portion, Mak added in coconut milk and a pinch of salt. Let it simmer and then just put the fire off. Put it aside. 

        When all of the family members were ready, Arwah Abah will recite a dua and then Mak would take a small bowl and scooped the brown sweet porridge and then topped it with a spoonful of the white porridge. It looked so inviting and the taste is so so good.

        I do not understand the importance of preparing this porridge for this occasion until a dear friend of mine whose husband just love having this porridge on birthdays and any other important days for his family. ...Birthdays,, weddings family gatherings and also taken as deserts at any days. She told me that, her husband's ancestors said that the significance is that the brown coloured porridge resembles the red blood cell and the white porridge resembles the white blood cell. By having balanced the two coloured cells, one will be very healthy. So the porridge means Long Live! Come to think of it,  it made sense you know!

Bubur Merah Bubur Putih

          But we totally have forgotten that our birthday is our mother’s labour day.  For those who have given birth naturally will know the pain, we went through! I once told my friends long ago....... it is okay for me to get pregnant many times if only I can pass the labour pain to others!!  Hahahahahahha!

           But please do not forget about your parents especially your mother on your birthdays. Without them we are nothing. Mothers had to go through hardship throughout her pregnancy. She vomited, suffered nausea, leg cramps, backache, constipation, spent sleepless nights and on the day we were born, she had to go through the worst pain just to push us out from her belly! Bones will be cracking, blood rushed out and she will have to do it with all the balance energy she has. She had to pull up her strength to push us out! Can you imagine the pain, the struggle she went through.  So, how can we ever forget her on our birthdays? Can you? Why in the world should we get all the gifts and attention after all that she went through? We should be getting them gifts instead or at least spent the day with her. Take her somewhere and tell her how much we owed her. Tell her how much you love her. 

          Unfortunately, I only discovered this when my mother was long gone.  She died in 2003 and the worst part of it was, I was away at that time. All I can remember of Mak was her beautiful voice whenever she read old poems in Bahasa Melayu. We called it Syair.  The poems were usually about the stories of the past, about hopes and expectations, about how to look at people, how to behave and many more. She did it so beautifully with the rhythm that I will never forget.  It was a serenade that you hope it will not end. So now, since both my Mak and Abah are gone, every year on my birthday, I will visit make time to visit their graves in Muar, Johor and made dua for them. This is my way of thanking them for bringing me into this world and made me who I am now.

A poem about giving advises to her children.

A poem about how to look at people and how to manage your life.

          For those whose parents are still alive, give the best to them. The least you can do is to give them comfort. Speak softly to them and avoid hurting their feelings. They don’t expect much from us, a little attention, love and tender care is all that they want from us. We can never repay them but as Muslims, we were taught that whatever good deeds we did, they will get the benefits too. 

So, whom do you think deserved the celebration? Your mother or you? May Allah grant my parents Jannah. InSyaAllah.